You probably know one or two of these already. But it’s always good to find new tricks to be discreet with cannabis around your children.
Discretion comes down to basically two things: mode of consumption and logistics. Do you smoke, vape, or use edibles? How do you get down while making sure no one notices?
Pinchies and One–Hitters
Ah, the least discreet of the bunch. But seeing as most of us migrated over from the legacy market, it’s also our most comfortable option.
Flower is king at Bud’s, and if that’s what you roll with, then pinchies and one-hitters are going to be your friend when trying to hide it from your children. But they do take more effort than the rest of the options on this list.
First you have to control the smell. If you’re smoking indoors, a towel under the bathroom door with a fan running works; open a window. And don’t forget the classic toilet paper roll with a dryer sheet strapped to the end.
Sneaking a couple tokes outside works better, as the smoke dissipates faster. Of course, you have to get yourself a couple minutes alone for that. If you have a partner you can switch off with, then you can each take turns outside/inside—wherever the privacy is.
Check your smell afterwards—the smoke might be gone, but you might smell like a Cypress Hill concert. Take care of it. Sprays, incense, whatever. Or if you have a few minutes, just hang outside for a while more. The smell should take care of itself as it airs out.
And don’t forget to check your eyes—a bottle of eye drops on hand has saved many a day.
Pull Out The Vape
An even better option for concealing cannabis is vaping. Marijuana vapor doesn’t hang in the air as long as smoke, and doesn’t cling to clothes as much. It airs out much more quickly. But still, be aware.
And as always, make sure to get yourself a moment of privacy so no one can see you, otherwise you end up with this: “Hey mommy, what’s that?”
And that’s a conversation you’re probably not ready to have.
Eat Your Buzz
Edibles are a great way to keep your cannabis out of sight and yet in plain sight of your children. After all, you’re just eating a snack!
However, every kid wants cookies, brownies, muffins, whatever is sweet. Your job is to keep those foods out of their reach and—you know your kids best—possibly out of their sight if they’re of the mindset that what’s yours is theirs, and no cupboard is too high.
To eliminate the sweet factor, you could always spread some cannabutter on a piece of toast. It would work just as well, there’s not as much prep, and you won’t have sugar-obsessed hands grabbing at it.
You can also try cannabinoid tea as another edible. The benefits of tea as a discreet method of cannabis are pretty sound. Most children have no interest in tea, and won’t give it a bother. It also eliminates the smoke factor.
Please, please, PLEASE be a responsible parent and keep these things out of reach from your kids.
The More Modern Stock
Capsules, oils, tinctures, patches, inhalers—they all work, and they keep your smell at level zilch. Capsules are also a great way to microdose, which brings up the next point.
Don’t Get Too Stoned
Maintain a buzz, but keep yourself on an even keel. This should go without saying, but if you want to be discreet with your buds, don’t hit four bong-loads like you’re doing an all-day Netflix binge-fest. Keep it chill, and no one’s the wiser.
Go About Your Day
Kids are awesome, and so is a mild buzz. Someday you’ll have a conversation with them when they’re mature and ready, but this probably ain’t the time. And remember, you’re a parent first and foremost. Please consume responsibly.